Musings about life and my journey

Okay, I Can Do This

on April 2, 2013

Ever since my little meltdown a few days ago when I was away from Master, I’ve worried about the moments I would spend apart from him.  Writing about it yesterday helped a little because it forced me to look at why I freaked out and how I could avoid it in the future.

Master brought me home yesterday evening and went back home.  Before he left, he said, “I’ll see you when I pick you up from work tomorrow.”  THAT little comment eased a lot of anxiety:  I *knew* when I would see him again.  The separation was finite and defined.

I knew that when I was away from Master, I was going to have to keep myself busy.  So I spent some time yesterday evening making a list of things I *could* do to keep my hands and mind busy.  When Master and I were doing our LDR thing, I had gotten away from some of my hobbies; I put those things on my list of things I could do.  I also listed little nooks and crannies in my apartment that I know could use a good sorting and cleaning.  I also wrote down a couple of other projects I could take on if I start feeling at loose ends.  Looking at this list, I have *no* option to ever say, “I’m bored.”  There’s a LOT of things I could do – and not all are tedious tasks.

I told Master about this list, and he added one important thing that I need to do if I start feeling antsy:  “Contact Master.”  It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I don’t have to manage everything on my own – not even myself.

So, today, Master picked me up from work and dropped me off at my apartment, he left me with a kiss and an “I love you,” and he trusted that I am going to be okay.

And I am.  I’m keeping occupied, keeping calm, and enjoying myself and my talents.


One response to “Okay, I Can Do This

  1. Hi and thanks for checking out my blog and in turn, introducing me to yours 🙂 I cant wait to explore and read more …

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Actually Ashley

Just another sarcastic ashhole.

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